How do we treat sex & love addictions
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Sex is an essential part of a healthy, loving relationship but because it floods the brain with feel-good chemicals, it has the potential to become addictive. Sex addiction is characterised as the compulsive need to perform sexual acts to achieve the same kind of ‘fix’ that a person with substance abuse dependency achieves with their drug of choice.
Symptoms of sex addiction include
- Failing to reduce or stop unhealthy sexual activities despite wanting to.
- Sexual activity continues despite the potential for emotional or physical harm it may cause to both the individual and other people.
- Excessive use of pornography, sex chat lines or webcams.
- Unhealthy sexual activities as a response to boredom anxiety, stress or depression.
- The time spent in sexual activities or fantasies interferes with work, social activities or commitments to loved ones.
Sexual anorexia can also be classified under sexual addiction. In sexual anorexia, the individual compulsively avoids giving or receiving sexual/emotional nourishment. The fixation on sexual avoidance is often a reaction to a fear of sexuality.
Symptoms of sexual anorexia include
- A dread of sexual pleasure.
- Distortions of body appearance and loathing of body functions.
- Obsessional self-doubt about sexual adequacy.
- Shame and self-loathing over sexual experiences.
- Self-destructive behaviour to limit or avoid sex.
Individuals who suffer from love addiction struggle to form an identity outside of their relationships. Love addiction causes an individual to idolise their romantic partner as the person/object that will ‘fix’ them. They will enter into a relationship very suddenly, often avoiding pain or responsibility in other areas of their lives. They can associate loneliness with abandonment which leads an individual to either stay in highly abusive relationships or sometimes simultaneously engage in numerous sexual/emotional relationships.
Symptoms of love addiction include
- Committing to and falling in love with a partner without really knowing them.
- Never feeling satisfied within a relationship but feeling empty when they are alone.
- Idealising and pursuing others, then blaming them for not fulfilling their fantasies of perfection.
- Using emotional dependency as a substitute for authentic care.
- Using sex and emotional involvement to manipulate and control other people.
We experience love avoidance when we have an aversion to intimate relationships with other people. People with love avoidance can struggle to trust others and often destroy a relationship if it feels like it is becoming intimate.
Symptoms of love avoidance include
- Using anger, abuse or criticism to keep people at a comfortable distance.
- Finding yourself angry and avoidant with people when they show concern for you.
- Need constant validation from friends and family members.
- Avoiding vulnerability or intensity in a relationship but finding it in substance abuse or behavioural addictions.
- Frequently engaging in casual sex but becoming distant when the relationship turns serious.
